I have heard that you are frustrated because my generation doesn’t seem to be available. I am so sorry that it appears that we are not interested. Maybe it is time that we got to know each other a little bit. Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I always thought that when I entered the “middle aged” season of life, I’d be much wiser than I actually am. I would be confident in myself and I would have reached a point of being able to scatter little bits of wisdom all over the place! None of what I imagined is a reality. Instead, I find myself in this season having been emptied of all the misconceptions I had about myself, life, and what things would be like at this point.
Rather than looking in the mirror and seeing a strong, wise, confident person, I see a weak, emptied, needy person. One who has seen a glimpse of who she is, and is more aware than ever that anything good that is seen is there because of a work God has done. Not a wise person, but a person who has been pushed harder to learn what it means to seek God more intensely, on a minute by minute basis. Not a confident person, but a person who has been shown that the only thing worth putting her confidence in is God.
My age, how many years I’ve been married, where my children are at in life, that I am still in love with my husband — none of these things are meant to be trophies for me to thrust over my head in victory. It is God’s grace that has carried me through each season, and it is His grace that is being found in the present season. I want to be honest, from the start, about who I really am.
Now that you know the truth, do you still think you want to spend time with me? If so, here are 8 more things you need to know about the older generation:
We may be from different generations, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from each other. Please don’t write me off just because I may have a slightly different approach to life than you do. There are reasons why I am the person I am today, and there are reasons why you are the person you are today.
Just because I am older does not mean I have it all together. I am learning and growing too. Please don’t expect me to be perfect. Even though I don’t want to, I will probably let you down in some way. We need to show each other much grace!
I am facing some of the hardest life challenges I have faced so far. My children are adults, but they still weigh heavy on my heart. Not only am I facing the adjustment of having adult children, and that those precious people we have raised will soon be leaving our home, I am also in a season of watching my parents age and pass away. I am facing physical changes like never before. I get tired, emotional, grow weary, and am watching my body age. Just because I am older, doesn’t mean that my life is easy. Please keep that in mind.
I am not your hope. Only God will meet your deepest needs at every level. My goal is to point you to God and challenge you to pray about how you should live your life. God knows you better than I ever will. Seek my counsel, but always focus on God. He is your hope.
It may be hard to schedule time to get together, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be available to you. I have a home, family and other responsibilities that I am called to. I am trying to be faithful to live my calling well. There are other people in my life who need my time. Please be patient with me in the same way you want me to be patient with you.
I cannot read your mind. I don’t always know what you want or need. Please tell me. I will pray for you, be there as I am able, and do whatever I can to help you practically and spiritually. But you have to let me know what you need. I will never purposefully neglect you, but I might miss something. I need you to be open with me.
I strive to see you through eyes of grace, knowing you are in a process of growth and maturity. Please try to see me through that lens as well. I may not be young anymore, but I am still learning and maturing.
You want me to get to know you, to be transparent, and real. That will take time. Please take the time to get to know me as well. I need encouragement, friendship, and fellowship just as much as you do. If I seem hesitant to be transparent, please be patient and give me time to get to know you. I have learned over the years that I need to be be “carefully transparent”, and I strive to be led by the Holy Spirit, sharing what will be helpful.
There are times that the younger generation can appear to be self-confident, that they think that the older generation is not relevant in this day and age, or like they don’t really need the older generation. Let us know that you are interested in getting to know us. Show us that you value us. Ask us questions. We need to know that you really want us in your lives.
Let’s start getting to know each other! I think there are some wonderful relationships just waiting to be made!